yep, it is official....the honeymoon stage is over. the doubt has crept in, with the questions of "why am i here? i could be somewhere else....doing more exciting things...maybe i have made a mistake...."
editors note(please take all of this with a grain of salt since my emotional state is a little off balance because of lack of sleep and a headache that has settled in.)
i am wondering.
i am waffling.
i am pondering.
i am missing...
i am unsure of what my place is in this world of great need. everywhere i look, everywhere i walk i am accosted with poverty and i am overwhelmed. i can see why westerners rent beautiful flats with high fences up on a hillside away from the noise, the pollution, the cries, the needs. even as i write this i am somewhat embarrassed that i am even thinking that way but yet a part of me gets it and a part of me would never partake.
i just would like a to-do list and maybe if i could check things off i would feel a little better. here there are no lists...it is a matter of survival.
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5 comments:
But for every little ripple you create, the wave will grow and one day may cause a little apple tree to grow where otherwise one never would. When I get overwhelmed by the mess all around me, I focus on one little area and create a little order there. Even the smallest act of love can change a person's heart. May God give you a ray of hope that He is doing something, some encouragement that your time there is not in vain. We love you and are praying for you. - Love, Bonnie
I'm glad you are there, Elisa. I'm glad you are there to notice the things that we can't see from here. To live with the people who are in poverty. To love the people Jesus so loves. He is proud of you. I am proud of you. Just being there - living amongst the least of these, weeping over the devestation, loving as much as God gives you to love - IS doing something. We may not know how much now. But you are making a difference in the kingdom of God. Keep on doing what you are doing, even if it feels like you are doing nothing - it IS worth it!
We love you and miss you. But we are glad you are there.
-Hugs from the Santschis
Hi guys,
Winnipeg is not quite the same without you when I visit there. Mom and Dad popped into Gary and Shannons while I stayed the weekend at the New Day guest suite (which was awesome). Got to preach at your church. Hi from my family and the rest.
bj
Elisa, I just read through all the posts and when I got to the one about how your daughter gave away her water bottle to the lady, then how you've been serving little Jesus's in disguise I had a thought. My thought was: Someday soon it's going to get tough for them and they are going to wonder: why are we here? what have we done by coming here? That's when they should come back here and read their own post. To remember.
"Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the tihngs your eyes have seen, or let them slip from your heart as long as you live." "Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord." "Future generations will also serve Him. Our children will hear about the wonders of the Lord. His righteous acts will be told to those yet unborn. they will hear about everything He has done."
(Deut. 4:9/Psalm 108:18/Psalm 22:30-31)
Sometimes today is all about tomorrow.
Blessings.
Elisa, you and Rod are exactly where you need to be. The Lord has led you there for a purpose.
I am sure during this season, when you are so accustom to being with friends and family, being busy with the season, surrounded by the Christmas cheers, having many visitors, partaking in gatherings, that you are missing that, what you had seen as the usual.
This year you are surrounded by poverty,overwhelmed by a season that is not the norm, you are giving into the homesickness, and losing site of what drew you there in the first place.
God is radiating such love from your family for the community around you. What beauty your family is spreading this season with those that are around you. The gatherings may be different, but you are still surrounded by the family that you have built there and the friends you have made.
Soon you will be coming home and missing all that you have had to leave behind!
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