God ...why have you given our family so much wealth compared to the majority in the world. I see so much poverty all around me and I long for them to have more......clean water, lots of good food, medicine, work which does not cripple their bodies, warm clothes and a house. It seems like they're trapped in this life of poverty and sickness. Many can't afford to buy bottled water, a box of Kraft dinner or medicine for their kids and some lay at night on the streets out in the cold. God...I wish I could take their poverty away. Was I born "lucky"? Was I dealt a good hand? I know the cookie cutter answers that I have used so many times like "they are so rich in other ways" or "God likes to give gifts to me - His child".....I don't dispute the truth of these statements Lord, but would I be willing to trade places wth these people ...I now know why so many people are flocking to the Maoist party....they are poor and don't want to be poor any more. God, these man made solutions don't seem to be working. At times I feel so guilty just having more than others, and maybe justifiably so ......What do you want us to do?....the starving are no longer on my TV screen where I can change the channel to the Weather Network or to my favorite fishing show.....These people are my neighbors....they are becoming my friends. Should my geographical location matter? Do you want me to be like St. Francis of Assisi or Mother Theresa who gave up their wealth to live with the poor?...Am I "entitled" to my wealth because "I am Canadian!"?..... Does the money in my bank account really belong to me? Sometimes I have such a tight grip on my wallet.
The responsibilty for these people is ever increasing. My love for these people is growing more and more. I am sorry for all the times I spent cash on things just to accumulate more or to help me pass the time away. I am sorry for using your name in vane saying that those things were gifts from You when they were really gifts to myself...Help me Lord to be more generous to others and remove this selfishness from my blood. I am sorry for the times I gave the poor my crumbs. Thank you for your forgiveness. Let me steward the money that you have put in my trust that is pleasing to You. I need so much wisdom.
Lord, please heal the sick, bring them some yummy food and clean water... or maybe even apple juice, give them really warm clothes and a place to sleep without a leaky roof. And I pray that they would know that You reallylove them and that You think that they are important. Thank you for listening.
Love, RJ
2 comments:
Rod,
I love your wrestle. Reading your post moved me. Lately I've personally been letting God wreck me with his heart for those lost in human trafficing...asking why, asking what I could do?
Love ya man, I am praying for your family.
Have a good Christmas, may it be full of the reality of the inncarnation. Bless you.
Jason Parks
Welcome to the struggle Rod. Almost to a T I've prayed these same things to God while I was there! What really made me weep one day was the thought...."I have a return ticket and my brothers here don't." It almost drove me mad! I was comforted by the Holy Spirit in that moment saying, "Just keep loving me with all you have,...and the person next to you as you would your- self. Leave the rest to Me!" My heart is broken with you! Love always. Ken.
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